Off on a caper: Turkey redux

It’s a shame that few people enjoy turkey meat only once or twice a year.

Turkey is inexpensive, high in protein, and versatile. A single breast or drumstick makes a sufficient meat portion for most carnivores. And, after the American holiday season, shoppers can take advantage of an unsold glut of turkeys.

Just break them down and freeze them in portions. Then, it’s just a matter of digging the right-size portion from the freezer and preparing it in any number of ways.

One of my latest favorite cooking methods is to braise thin slices of breast meat in a tapanade similar to one I featured on Phyne Dyning [HERE].

This recipe is even simpler. And, it can be adapted for use with a robust red meat as well.

The recipe was adapted from one featured by Chef Jacques Pepin on his cooking show, Fast Food, My Way. It’s delicious in its original form. With some modifications, it is splendid.

Here’s how:

1 large, skinless turkey breast (per 2 people)

1 2oz tin anchovy fillets in oil

5 TBS butter, DIVIDED

  (or 2TBS olive oil)

2 TBS capers, rinsed

½ C dry white wine

¼ C chopped parsley

Bias slice the turkey breast into 3/8” slices. Heat 2 TBS of the butter over medium-high heat in a non-stick skillet. Drain the oil from the anchovies into the pan and stir. Cook the turkey breast slices, in batches, until pale golden on both sides (1 ½ – 2 min/side) and remove to a warm platter when done.

When all of the turkey has been cooked, deglaze the pan with the white wine. Chop the anchovies and stir them into the cooking liquid and then add the rinsed capers. Reduce the heat to low-med and allow the liquid to reduce slightly. Whisk in the remaining 3 TBS of butter (if using) until the liquid emulsifies. Pour this mixture over the turkey slices and garnish with the chopped parsley. Season with a few twists of black pepper. Do NOT add salt seasoning; the anchovies and capers have enough in them.

A wonderful variation is to substitute a dry red wine and then braise veal or lamb in a similar manner.

Criminals in theft plot show ‘chutzpah’ instead of contrition!

Pedophile to judge: “Yes, your honor, I had sex with that twelve year-old girl. But, did you see the ______ on her?”

On his Flyover Press [HERE] website my friend, Dr. Jimmy LaBaume, often refers to government as ‘an organized crime syndicate’.

What happens when the government crime syndicate gets called into the dock? Remember how Ordinaries are encouraged to show contrition after being convicted?

Why?

Judges and parole boards, when reviewing the conduct of an Ordinary who has run afoul of their laws, typically take into account whether or not the offender is contrite for his/her offense.

Let’s look at the contrition shown by the organized crime syndicate governing the city of Des Moines, Iowa after they were ordered to refund $40,000,000.00 in stolen loot to their victims.

Stolen loot? Pray, tell.

The theft involved the city’s illegal increase of a franchise fee imposed on, among other things, a consumer’s electric bill.

An Ordinary, one Lisa Kragnes, noticed the higher charges on her utility bills, looked into how the city accomplished the bigger than usual theft, and filed suit against the city.

Kragnes won. The city was ordered by a state court to refund the confiscated loot, plus interest, to Kragnes and her similarly situated Ordinaries.

The city appealed the decision all the way to the United States Supreme Court and the court responded with laughter. The city responded to the Court’s derision…errr…decision with a stalling move challenging the legal fees of the lawyers representing Kragnes.

Time has run out for Des Moines, Iowa. The judge in the case has ordered the criminals to pay up…”Now!”

Like all robbers, they don’t have the money to pay back their victims. They already spent it on bling and swag for their cribs. Besides, if they had it to begin with, there would have been no need to rob the Ordinaries of their hard-earned ducats.

City leaders remained defiant as they oozed out of the courthouse. They decided on a parting shot at their victims.

The city’s crime syndicate regularly sends its victims a slick ‘news’ magazine they tout as “Your Direct Link To City Hall”. The Fall 2013 edition contained a (from the criminal’s perspective) review of the Kragnes decision. The article’s byline attributed the piece to the Des Moines City Manager, Richard Clark.

Here’s what Clark had to say:

“As permitted by state law, Des Moines has collected franchise fees from gas and electric utilities since 1960. Franchise referenda were approved by Des Moines voters as recently as 1987. In 2004, the Iowa Legislature phased out the state sales tax on utility bills. Faced with an ongoing structural deficit, the Des Moines City Council saw an opportunity to maintain city services and simultaneously reduce property tax rates by raising gas and electric franchise fees. In 2004 and 2005 the City increased the franchise fee to 3% and 5% respectively. The new franchise revenue was used to pay police officers (*sigh* added), fire fighters (*heavier sigh* added), library services (*whimper* added), and low income (sic) energy assistance (*sniff* added). In addition, the new franchise revenue allowed the Council to reduce anticipated property tax rates by over 4% which was the largest tax rate reduction in recent history. Nonetheless (emphasis added), Lisa Kragnes brought a lawsuit against the City which ultimately resulted in the Court’s decision requiring the refunding of a portion of the franchise fees collected from 2004 to 2009.”

Translation: “Lisa Kragnes, you ingrate! We did, and were going to do, good things with the illegally confiscated wealth.”

Now, let’s suppose ‘Big Eddie’ wanted to support a cancer fund for children at his local “Order of Big Brawny Thugs” lodge.

Eddie rounds up a few of his brawnier lodge members and they go door-to-door in the lodge’s neighborhood. They knock on a door and, when the homeowner answers, they relieve him of his watch and wallet. The toss their loot into a pillowcase and take it back to the meeting hall. There, they faithfully deposit every stolen sou into an account for children with cancer.

“Timmy”, one of Eddie’s victims, really liked his watch and would like it back.

Timmy goes to the police, fills out a crime report, the policemen put down their doughnuts and day-old wieners and they go out and arrest Big Eddie for robbery.

Eddie et al goes on trial and loses. Eddie and his lodge brothers are ordered to give the stolen loot back to their victims, not just Timmy. He appeals. He loses. He appeals to the US Supreme Court. The Justices laugh at him.

Eddie is, again, ordered to give Timmy back his watch.

Eddie writes an article in the lodge newsletter, publishes it in bulk, and mails it to everyone in the city. In his article, Eddie says:

“Cancer is a terrible disease. My lodge brothers and I took a vote and heroically resolved to go door-to-door to collect contributions to the lodge’s annual anti-cancer crusade. Sure, we encouraged (wink-wink) everyone to give. Isn’t it their duty to help wipe out cancer? Only a greedy, selfish person (like that scumbag, Timmy) would object to us liberating his watch for such a worthy cause. Timmy fails to realize that we could have pawned his watch and given the proceeds to a children’s cancer hospital. It’s a shame that some people (like that scumbag, Timmy) don’t feel as generous as me and my fellow lodge members.”

Try, willfully, not to pay a tax and, instead, give the money to a homeless shelter, a fund to research breast cancer, or to an animal shelter filled with cute puppies and kittens. With a sober expression on your mug, tell the judge about your ‘good’ intentions.

Just before the judge tells you what your penalty will be for your willful crime, stiffen up.

Don’t say anything that might be misinterpreted to be contrition. Stare the man in the robes down. Be defiant. Make fart noises with your armpit as the judge levies the penalty.

Show some chutzpah!

First arrest made in Ohio’s war on hidden compartments in vehicles

Dear Readers, this is akin to finding matches in an Ordinary’s pants pocket and charging him with ‘intent to commit arson’. Any criminal intent in this case exists solely in the minds of the criminals…err, police. As the following article suggests, it is only a matter of time before hiding places in private residences are, likewise, banned.

Folks who like to keep their property secure from prying eyes have one more thing to worry about.

Having a ‘secret’ compartment in a vehicle is illegal in Ohio.

That means concealed carry permit holders, people who carry cash, and folks on vacation who don’t want their valuables stolen and who construct hidden recesses in their cars to do so now face felony charges in the Buckeye State.

According to published news accounts, Norman Gurley (30) and a Michigan resident, was arrested for having a secret compartment constructed in his car. The compartment opened via electric locks.

Compartments such as the one Gurley had installed were banned in Ohio as part of the ‘War on Drugs’. Criminals in the employ of the state say the compartments are designed to hold the dastardly duo of modern America…

…Guns and drugs.

Gurley’s compartment was empty.

No guns. No drugs. Just an empty compartment.

Therefore, any criminal intent for the compartment existed only in the minds of the costumed marauders within the Ohio Highway Patrol who stopped Gurley for speeding.

According to Lt. Michael Combs of the highway patrol, “We apparently caught them between runs, so to speak, so this takes away one tool they have in their illegal trade.”

Modern law enforcement regularly relies on soothsayers possessing low IQs to predict who will commit a crime and who, despite the absence of any evidence a crime has been committed, is a criminal.

Got a hidey-hole at home? A wall safe?

You can bet your ass that it won’t be long before the caped donut munchers begin a similar campaign against residential hiding places.

It’s for our own good.